Sorry, that was unclear. Maybe I should have called this, “Now Holden There Just A Second!” No, that’s worse.
Anyways, J.D. Salinger has emerged from his Fortress of Solitude to sue the author and publisher of an unauthorized sequel to Salinger’s iconic “Catcher In The Rye.” (Hence, hiring an attorney, who has a Juris Doctorate, or JD. Get it? Anyone? Is this thing on?)
The sequel, titled “60 Years Later, Coming Through the Rye” has been on sale in other countries for a while now, but is slated to be released in the US in September.
In addition, the sequel is a terrible idea. How can one person, not even the author, impose their own vision on a work of such impact? Authors themselves have been heavily criticized for such things (see: Godfather III), who does “John David California” think he is?
In fact, this is such a terrible idea, it’s almost a great idea. I hope Caulfield is a cyborg who has conquered South America and is threatening to rid the world of all Phonies via his army of artifically grown clones of his dead brother, Allie. Ultimately his plans are foiled by his little sister Phoebe, who has escaped the cryogenic tomb he had placed her in to teach Holden that he can’t stop her from growing up and going through the natural loss of innocence that adulthood requires. Unable to handle this, Holden releases a mammoth swarm of locusts that eat everything on the planet, leaving it a barren, but unchanging, wasteland. As he perishes, Caulfield mutters, “Now we are all Eskimos.”
But I’m guessing that’s not the new plot. However, my newfound appreciation for this horrible idea has me considering doing sequels of famous paintings. “Guernica: The Revenge,” anybody?
Yes, I have had an ungodly amount of caffeine today. Why do you ask?