Potassium, Balance & Things That Don’t Suck
Like most normal people*, I LOVE bananas. As part of a balanced diet I eat upwards of four a day. They’re a good source of potassium in a neat, tidy package. They come with their own durable, biodegradable wrapping in a lovely cheery yellow and are the perfect snack matrix for peanut butter–the greatest food invention ever. And bonus of bonuses, they come with stickers! Stylish stickers that will stay in place on your sleeve for days and days. If you’re a banana fan, you’re no doubt as excited as I am about Chiquita’s recent sticker line expansion–so many delightful new designs! But have you visited their website yet? It’s a fun waste of time where you can design banana stickers, alter photos and waste loads of time doing other time-wasting nonsense! I’m really diggin it since (due to my lack of balance) I’m all laid up with a fun new injury.
*I realize not everyone loves bananas. I once had a startling conversation about fruit with my pal Karen who I’d always considered normal (ok that last italicized bit is a lie which just proves my point). She explained that her favorite fruit was the orange and that her least favorite was the banana because it’s so inconvenient. She complained about the messiness of peeling them, having to remove the damn stringy bits and pull out the “little black buttplug” at the bottom. Funny thing is, I have all those complaints about oranges… except for the buttplug, with oranges it’s the white bellybutton thing where the segments meet at their ends. And then there’s this nutjob I know from the hardware store around the corner who actually hates bananas. Just goes to show, people are freaks.
Quite normally yours,
-Steph
November 28, 2009 at 11:37 am
I love bananas myself. And now that I know a little more about muscle metabolism I try to eat about two a day. Now someone tells me the phenylketonurics in diet sodas (which I drink to keep my teeth from rotting out too quickly, more than for a reason of over “carbo-hydrating”, or getting fat), these are like ant poison, or Formic acid when they break down. The end effect is muscle tissue losing its dynamic of being pliant, nevermind the added effect of aging and being near fifty. There are other sources of potassium in foods. They just never had a Carmen Miranda character to glamourize them.
I have never found anything annoying about bananas. Well, never so annoying that I would complain about it. For a brief period I grew up in poverty where sometimes food was scarce and TV was plentiful. This would combine in the perfect storm for me of viewing a Charlie Chaplin movie where he is boiling a shoe to eat, and seriously considering the nutrient qualities of shoe leather at age 12. Oranges were manna from heaven that our grandfather would occasionally bring us in five pound bags. It was as if he knew we wouldn’t get scurvy eating them while my dad switched career paths. I even started eating the peelings on some of the larger oranges.
Nowadays the challenge is to cook up turkey bacon with egg whites out of a carton, but I have found a way to make a virtual corn tortilla sandwich with both using only the available grease from four slices of the pre-fab meat. The key ingredient is Zaachila Habanero sauce, which can be found at any Wal-Mart (around here anyway). Oh, that is good! Crunchy! Spicy! I wish I could make one for you all.
November 29, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I LOVE turkey bacon–the Louis Rich stuff distributed by Oscar Meyer! Yum in a strip! I also love that you were able to avert childhood scurvy, Andrew. Thank be to Gramps! A friend of mine told me his bad case of poison ivy was misdiagnosed as scurvy at the local ER one time. The local ER is a dump by the way. I didn’t enjoy my recent four hour adventure there one bit. Even had to listen to Glenn Beck in the waiting room. Another patient declared the forced Fox “news” was an attempt at torturing us all. He may not have been far off the mark. Mark my words, we’re on the mark with our banana appreciation! SOLIDARITY!
November 28, 2009 at 11:42 am
P.S. Steph: I believe there is a town in Texas named “Normal”. I could be wrong. I’ve always thought it would be a worthwhile cause to go there just to take a picture beside the town sign.
November 29, 2009 at 1:05 pm
hmmn…
Do you s’pose they’re discriminating about who they let in?
December 14, 2009 at 1:25 pm
.. if you peel your banana from the bottom instead of the ‘top’, you won’t have the stringy problems
December 14, 2009 at 9:14 pm
ha! well look at that! i’m gonna try it. i don’t usually have trouble opening my bananas but that’s pretty nifty. and i’ll be sure to pass this info on to the banana haters in my life. it might help sway some of them… ‘cept you still have to pop that black buttplug thing outta the end.
thanks for the tip, special K!