Paint Covers All Blight
The townspeople of Perris, California were recently inpired by some of our favorite infomericals and have decided to spray paint dead lawns green in order to beautify their neighborhoods and promote the sale of abandoned houses.
Apparently this ends up costing 550$ per lawn. That sounds like a lot to me. If you’re going to spend that much money, why not go all the way? Paint a fake swimming pool, and attractive fake neighbors with fake kids for yours to play with. Maybe paint a great fake school right down the street and lucrative paying fake jobs for buyers to apply for?
Ask me if I’m surprised that Perris is in Riverside County. Go on, ask.
The answer is NO.
-JD
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April 1, 2009 at 8:20 am
“spray paint dead lawns green”
Is this a food coloring, Is this paint environment friendly, What happens when the pint fades?
April 2, 2009 at 12:58 am
Secretly at night I’d like to paint a skull and crossbones across lawns like those.
April 2, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Andrew, I don’t think that the suburban pirate problem is something we should be making fun of. How many of these lawns are in their rotten state as a result of illicit treasure being buried beneath them by these scoundrels?
April 3, 2009 at 12:50 am
Well the placard already reads “Coldwell Banker”. That veritably screams out loud “Piracy”, or at least “Inflatable Housing”.
“Avast…you’ll pay our price, an’ dance our tune, or well cut ye from stem tae stern.”
I’ll bet houses there are harder to sell than Milo Minderbinder’s chocolate-covered cotton…without a Blackbeard for an agent, that is.
April 2, 2009 at 7:59 am
I hope they wear gloves, or will have permanently green thumbs!!
April 2, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Wasn’t “Green, Plastic Thumbs” a Radiohead song? Should have been, anyways.